one of those days…

…when you wake up more exhausted than you were when you went to bed, if that is even possible, because your child was up all night.

…when you realize you’re out of milk for your coffee, or worse yet, out of coffee.

…when you cannot seem to finish one goddamn task because your toddler needs you just so much.

…when the dog is driving you crazy because he keeps barking, or chewing on the baby’s toys, or chasing the cat, or eating baby wipes.

…when you rewash the load of laundry in the washer for the fifth time.

…when you walk away from the couch for thirty seconds where you were attempting to fold laundry and turn around to see all of it strewn on the floor, with the dog and the baby sitting on it.

…when you feel like a crackhead because your eyeballs are practically vibrating from all the coffee, and you forgot to eat anything.

…when you think to yourself, “will this fucking kid just take a fucking nap for Christ sake!?!”

…when you cut the playground session short because it’s too much effort to keep other people’s kids from knocking your kid over.

…when you just try to make it to the point in the day where it’s acceptable to pour a glass of wine or you don’t even bother trying.

…when you realize you’d rather make a peanut butter sandwich with a spoon rather than wash a butter knife.

…when it’s a huge relief when your husband gets home, but you ruin it by picking a fight over nothing because you’re so irritable.

…when your toddler accidentally head butts you during a tantrum and splits your lip open.

…when you just want to sit in a room, in the dark, alone.

…when you feel like nothing was accomplished whatsoever.

…when all you want to do is turn your brain off.

And then, you see your daughter smiling in her sleep and realize that you are the one who built her, nourished her, cares for her, loves her so much that it takes your breath away. Then you sneak away to apologize to your husband and give him a hug. You give the dog a treat before you put him in his crate for the night. You finish your wine and go to bed because tomorrow you’ll start again.

 

 

Author: Jocelyn

Proud Air Force wifey | stay-at-home mommy | beach bum | Pisces | living the life on the beautiful island of Okinawa.

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